Going the Full Diva
by Muirnin
Summary: This is what happens when the REAL Diva of Glee has a breakdown right before West Side Story and there is only ONE person who can help her - this is a Romantic Hummelberry story Originally part of my NaNoWriMo offerings for this year but needed to post separately due to higher rating.
1. Chapter 1

_§____**Going The Full Diva **__§_

By Muirnin Cocan

_**Disclaimer: **I neither own nor claim any other rights in the characters and other concepts created for Glee. I make no money, nor do I seek any commercial advantage from this work. As such it constitutes "Fair Use" as defined in 17 U.S.C. §107. FAIR USE " Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use." _

_Glee belongs to the powers that be - RIB (Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, & Brad Falchuk) oh and Fox …_

_**Author's Note: **This is what happens when the REAL Diva of Glee has a breakdown right before West Side Story and there is only ONE person who can help her … Ok this was originally going to be part of the NaNoWriMo challenge but it began going stronger on language etc … This story has taken some twists and turns that I honestly didn't expect again like my Spin the Bottle fic so … as such I needed to post this separtately from the rest of the drabbles … I have ended up posting this as a separate story due to the Rating issue …and finally I have abandoned any 12-step program for my addiction to reviews and being a review whore and so … I beg of you …** please feed my addiction … **You all are the best …_

Going the Full Diva

"Mama!" the blue eyed teen said as she tore through the attic looking for one specific item. Lizzy Hummel was desperate to find some clue as to how her parents got together … they were too perfect compared to the parents of her other friends.

The 15 year old girl was stunning … with long brown hair that was parted on the side … her bright blue eyes full of mischief and wonder … Her daddy always told her that she got her nose and her smile from her mama …

Her mama was theatrically famous … her daddy on the other hand was fashionably famous … she found that she was very careful of who she made friends with since for the most part of the kids liked to associate with her only due to her parent's fame and she just wanted to hide in obscurity … she was afraid she would never measure up.

"Barbra Elizabeth Hummel-Berry how many times have I told you to not make a mess up here … Come on now … I have to be at the theater in a little over an hour …" the former Rachel Berry said trying to get her 15 year old daughter under control.

"Mama, I need to find some stuff for school … from your high school days … we are doing a genealogy project and they want us to start with the first two generations … so that would be all the Grandfather's, Grandma … you and dad. I've already got my grandparents … both sides … all the Grandfather's, Grandma Carole … even Granny Shelby … I also have all the information about Uncle Finn's death … but I can't really find anything substantial about you and dad … Just a few press clippings from your first shows and Daddy's amazing first showing at Byrant Park … but where are your high school diploma's … your college certificates … something!"

"Lizzy … Sweetheart … I wish you had come to us about this … there's more to the story then what you may or may not have found. I'll tell you what … tonight after I am done with the show we will sit down as a family … then Daddy and I will explain everything to you and your brothers." Rachel said "You know how busy your Daddy gets this time of the year … He's been busy due to Fashion week … Anna has him really trying to get him to out do himself … which knowing your Daddy … he will"

"I know mama … how long is this run for your production?" asked Lizzy as they walked downstairs … her mother was staring as Maria (again) in West Side Story. Some in the press had thought she would be too old to play the lead of Maria … but it was a part that was perfect for her …

Rachel had stared as Fanny Brice in Funny Girl twice … even won a Tony for her portrayal of the vaudville comedianne at the young age of 20 … She also did a stint as well as Elphaba in Wicked where she was nominated … but none had brought a gleam to her eye and an enthusiasm to her life as West Side Story … She had also won a Tony for that role as well after her first time playing that role on Broadway.

"We, or I should say I am only going to be in this production another two weeks … I have another project I am going to be working on for the next year or so …" Rachel said with a twinkle in her eye.

"What's the project?" Lizzy asked.

"Your daddy and I will discuss this with all of you kids tonight after we get home from the theater … now can I trust you to watch your brothers or do I need to call Granny Shelby?" Rachel asked with a bit of teasing in her tone.

Granny Shelby was sort of a code for Broadway Baby Day Care … Granny Shelby really was their grandmother … only in the biological sense … but seeing as Lizzy and her two brother's Patric and Colin who were only 7 and 5 respectively … it also meant going to Granny Shelby's center and the only good thing of going there was spending time with her Auntie Beth who was only a couple of years older than she …

"No I can watch the boys … I may call Beth and have her come over … the boys seem to really like having her around …" commented Lizzy. She seemed to idolize her aunt almost to the point of a role model.

She spent the rest of the time before their mother left watching Rachel as she began to warm up and prep for the performance tonight. Her Daddy came home and the pair of them did vocal runs together … her father had the most amazing voice and was even more handsome than the man they had cast to play Tony … but her Daddy had said that the only time he would ever get on stage would be to play opposite her Elphaba as Guy-linda. It seemed to be an inside joke for her parents.

Her parents walked back into the house after her mother's show was over … it didn't matter how busy her father was … he had never ever missed a Rachel Berry performance … and her mother always was there by his side for any fashion show or fashion week event that he could not get out of … they were perfect … there wasn't even any bad press about the pair … how she had no idea.

Gathered around in the living room her parents shared a love seat that was where they would always sit together. Rachel's face flawlessly free of any of the stage make-up she wore earlier and her long brown hair pulled back into a high-pony. Both were dressed in sweats and over-sized shirts.

"I know it's late … and a pair of little men we all know and love should be in bed by now …" the giggling from the brothers made who that statement was apparently for "But we have some things to talk about." Rachel had begun "The first part is going to be for all three of you … then the boys can go to bed." A groan of protest was heard "or not …" Rachel looked over at Kurt who just gave a slight smile and nod.

"What your mother and I have to say is not to leave this house … at all!" Kurt said firmly. "No gossiping to your friends … no whispering or yelling … this is a private family matter for the immediate family. Do not even think of discussing it with your Auntie Beth or any of your grandparents."

"Personally, I would never even discuss this with you … but your sister has called my hand and I am having to reveal everything … well as much as what she was looking for. Anyway the first bit of news …" Rachel started gaining strength from Kurt grabbing her hand and holding it tightly. "The project that I mentioned earlier to you Lizzy … is the fact that I am expecting another child … we are hoping for a sister so that we can complete our set …" she said with a smile. "I can only continue on for about two weeks more before I begin to show …"

"So I want everyone on their best behavior and help take care of your mother when I am away from the house …" Kurt said in a stern a voice as he could muster.

"Kurt …" Rachel scolded her husband but it didn't sound like the same type of scolding that she was known to do on the kids.

"Sweetheart … I know very well what kind of a diva you can truly turn into …" he said with a bright twinkle and smile "and honestly … I wouldn't have it any other way" he lifted her hand and kissed it tenderly "… I just don't think our children could handle the Full Diva experience."

"Ok … um … Daddy? … what do you mean the Full Diva Experience? I've never seen Mama as anything less than well who she is … Mama …" Lizzy asked looking at her mother and then looking back at her father.

Kurt looked tenderly at his wife and gave a sigh "and now we come the the second part of the program … it is a long story … one that I really do not want out there … not that I am ashamed but it could cause some problems for your mom as well as your Grandpa Burt … what with him now a States Senator … he and Grandma Carole have to live a life free of any suspicion and it was bad enough when this all went down … He almost didn't win the election." Kurt said sternly.

**McKINLEY HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM – Lima, Ohio – October 2011**

The opening night was a day away and Rachel Barbra Berry was a complete and total nightmare … she was a wreck ... giving all a true … full blown … DIVA experience.

While Blaine was an excellent Tony, all Rachel kept thinking about was Kurt and how amazing he would have been as Tony … rather than Officer Krupky … She thought about how she had gotten the part but that wasn't enough … she put her name in the hat and tried to run for Senior Class president … against her best friend … the one the only Kurt Hummel.

It was like everything she tried to do or say lately had been wrong and she even was on the outs with Finn … all because she tried to get him to have sex … er … make love to her before her opening night.

Artie had made a comment here and an observation there and when Blaine had reached to take Rachel's hand … she just flipped out … storming off stage slamming the door to the small closet that she had found earlier in the day …

Miss Pillsbury walked up to the door and tried to talk to the young actress but she was inconsolable. Suddenly Kurt was at her side gently talking through the door

"Honey it's Kurt … come on sweetie … open the door and talk to me …" He turned to Miss Pillsbury "I'll find out what is going on …" as they heard the lock slide and the door open.

A quiet voice said meekly "You actually are speaking to me?" she said in between her shuddering sobs of grief. "I've missed you so much …" she sobbed.

Entering the small space Kurt saw Rachel had moved back into a space in the corner. "What's going through that mind of yours right now? There are members of the cast that are waiting for you to rehearse." Kurt said bluntly as he moved the short distance to where she was huddled in the corner …

"Why are you talking to me … you hate me for running against you … everyone hates me … I can't do this without you Kurt … I am a complete nothing without you …" Rachel sobbed.

"Rachel … you are anything but a complete nothing … you are a complete Diva … a bit psychotic on your sociopathic climb to stardom … so yes you are a complete Diva but that is who you are … and I couldn't love you any less … now lets get you out there so you can finish the final run-thru of the show." Kurt said with his arm around her rocking her gently.

She started shaking her head no … "You better call Mercedes I am not going on … I can't … I … won't go on … not without you Kurt as my Tony … the way it was meant to be …" Rachel said sobbing again. "Us … singing together on the stage like we were meant to … like we did when we broke in to the Gershwin …"

Kurt looked over at Miss Pillsbury, who looked completely confused, and gave her a look like what do I do now. She turned and went to the other two director's

"That's what she said … She is not going on without Kurt to play Tony … I'm not sure what's changed or why she is suddenly so uncomfortable with Blaine but she said to call Mercedes … that she would not play Maria unless it was to Kurt's Tony."

"Its too late to recast … Mercedes doesn't know the part … not like Rachel does." Coach Beiste said "and what about the part of Tony … if we give into Rachel's demands does Kurt even know the part of Tony?"

"I can assure you he does …" Blaine said quietly walking up to the directorial trio "We both know each other's parts and he could probably play Maria as well … but if you need Kurt to play Tony … I can take his Officer Krupky role …" Blaine had no idea what had caused this outburst in Rachel but it probably was her inner diva coming out and having dealt with his own Diva in the form of Kurt he knew … Rachel needed to feel safe and secure.

"Well then let's get them informed immediately …" said Miss Pillsbury. As they wandered back to the the small space that they had left Kurt with Rachel they could hear Rachel begging for Kurt's forgiveness for sacrificing their friendship … that she was going to give up the presidency first chance she got when she saw Coach Beiste.

"Rachel?" Miss Pillsbury called out hoping that this would be a positive decision.

"She's here Miss Pillsbury … Come on in …" Kurt's voice said softly over the soft sobbing that was coming from Rachel.

Entering she saw Kurt holding a sobbing Rachel Berry in his arms rocking her gently with so much compassion … if it had been any other boy and specifically not one that was gay she would have automatically mistaken this action as love …

"We … the directors that is … have decided due to the time concerns mind you … that we will go ahead and recast Kurt as Tony … Blaine has offered to play Officer Krupky in his place … that's if Kurt agrees …"

"Really? Kurt you have to do it … please?" Rachel looked at him with her tear filled brown eyes. "It's all my fault you didn't get cast … I can't do the show knowing that you didn't get the part because of me … I have hurt you so deeply …"

"Rachel … I forgive you … but are you sure you want me as Tony?" Kurt asked honestly, fear inside him of taking the part from Blaine … who although he was angry with him from the night before about trying to make out in the back of the car he still cared for the gelled haired singer. "I've never sang the part with you … never played the part with you … as Maria … I don't want to do anything that will cause the show to be bad …" Kurt said to Rachel.

"I believe in you Kurt … you are my best friend and I am your biggest fan … you will do marvellous." Rachel said confidently.

"Ok let's do this … we will do a full complete run through and if it is not as good as it was before … you are going to go on with Blaine as Tony and not complain …" Kurt said sternly as Rachel nodded in agreement.

Kurt had run back to his house and quickly got clothing that would work for the role of Tony and came back … going through the entire show with a believable sincerity that all three of the directors were in shock.

There comes a time in everyone's life when something happens and they get a sense of _'Oh that's what they mean'_ … or the preverbial _'There you are'_ as what happened to Blaine who had at one time explained this to Kurt after Pavoratti's death … right before he was properly kissed the first time … not that hate filled kiss that Dave Karofsky had given him …

For Kurt it whispered silently to him when he was on stage with Rachel at the Gershwin Theater in New York City … but the reality of it hit him smack in the face as he played opposite Rachel in West Side Story … He had gotten to the part where he had to kiss 'Maria' for the first time and he was lost to her … and she was lost to him.

Since this was a run thru the director's were playing it like it was a true performance and not interrupting anything but when the kiss kept going on for over a full minute … which may seem like not much time … but seriously time it … That kiss went on forever even longer than the one between Finn and Rachel in New York City … and this kiss was scripted.

When they broke a part it was time to sing the song 'Maria' and Kurt nailed the song perfectly. As Rachel and Kurt played their respective roles it appeared as though they had been rehearsing for months to be so in sync with each other.

Even Blaine was shocked as he saw that they were not acting the love that was shared and he got a cold chill up his spine realizing that the love of his life … was in love with someone else. He decided it was better to figure this out now than later when Kurt and Rachel were living in New York City … and he was still here in Lima.

Artie approached the pair and spoke volumns about the fact that they were portraying the couple with so much love and definitely as soulmates would. He applauded them as did other members of the cast. None of the cast said anything untoward against the pair … as that would undermind the entire production.

Opening night was a success … and as Kurt and Rachel entered the after-party they both gave each other a look that said that they wanted to be anywhere but there. Everyone was spouting accolades for Kurt's portrayal of Tony including Blaine who stated that he wouldn't have been able to make Tony's love for Maria as believable as what Kurt's did.

Kurt smiled at the complements but knew that the real secret he was able to portray Tony's love for Maria was because of his own unspeakable love for the Diva … one Ms. Rachel Barbra Berry.

Something that he never thought he would ever have had happen. After an hour or more the pair separately made their departure and headed over to Rachel's house since surprisingly her dad's were away for the weekend in Akron rather than their baby girl's first performance.

When they got inside Kurt took Rachel by the hand and led her into the front parlor and sat on the sofa. "Rachel … what is going on here … what is happening to me?" He asked pleadingly as he gazed into her chocolate brown eyes.

"Kurt … I wish I knew … but whatever is happening to you … I don't know if this is also happening to me as well … but … I feel like I can't get enough of you … like there was a part of me that was missing and now it's found its way home." Rachel said as she gazed back in to his love filled glasz eyes.

Currently his eyes were showing more blue than the grey-green that they had in the past. Lightly she wondered if Kurt's eyes were a form of mood reactor … Like a Mood Ring's Stone … blue for passion … dark grey for anger. Only once had she seen the darkest grey in his eyes but that was when he had heard she was running against him for Senior Class President.

"That's it exactly … that's the way I feel right now Rach … to be honest with myself … I've fallen in love with you …" he admitted gently before taking her lips with his in a deep reawakening of the kiss that changed both their lives.

When the kiss broke a while later Rachel's silent admission "I'm in love with you too" caused another respark of the passion that was enveloping both of them.

It truly is amazing when you find that one person who fills your soul completely … and the teen pair were experiencing that right this moment.

While technically … Kurt was a year older than Rachel or even his brother Finn for that matter … he had always been looked at as younger. Even Finn called him his Little Brother … The reason being Kurt had lost so much time at school during the year long battle that ended up finally taking the life of his mother Elizabeth … he requested to be held back and join the next class. Burt had been in such an emotional turmoil and not in any mood to argue with the young boy so he agreed thinking that Kurt always knew what Kurt needed.

He was already 18 years old while Rachel would be 18 in December … the pair silently and consciously decided and had gotten off the sofa and began to walk up the stairs to Rachel's bed room. Before they got there was a knock at the front door. Opening it they found not only Finn who as in a foul mood but Blaine as well.

"So this is where the both of you disappeared to" Blaine said. "What is going on with you Kurt?"

"Same for you Rach … I think I deserve some answers …" Finn shouted.

Each of the teens paired off with their apparent signifigant other to talk … or break up which is what they both wanted to do at that moment.

Kurt sat Blaine down on the sofa that he had just been making out with Rachel on and sighed. "Blaine, I've known who or I should say what I was since I was a little boy … but after I kissed Rachel on Stage that first time … all that I knew was that I could only be me with Rachel physically in my life … I remember all the arguments that you and I had when I gave you such a hard time when you kissed Rachel … but I was sober when I came to this decision … and kissing Rachel filled me … made me complete. I'm sorry Blaine I can't be with you anymore ... I not only love Rachel … I'm in love with Rachel."

Blaine sat back and stared at the grey eyes flashing back at him … informing the young man in front of him. "Oh marvellous … you are in love with Rachel Berry … Do my feelings count for anything? How does Rachel feel about you?"

"That's why I wanted to tell you up front …"

"Oh you mean up front like you've been tonight … you leave a cast party … a cast party that was thrown for a show that both you and Rachel were the stars in … and what about Finn and I … we are your and Rachel's boyfriends … and we had to go in search for you? What were you just going to fuck her and still be gay for me?" Blaine screamed at the countertenor.

"Blaine I never wanted to hurt you … I care about you …"

"Well you sure as hell did hurt me … you care about me? Bull shit! You care only for yourself … God … you are as much a diva as that bitch in there …" Blaine ranted "Do you even believe what you are saying? Obviously given the state that you both were in when we found you … you do. I left Dalton to be with you …"

Tears were already falling from Kurt's eyes at the hurt that he had caused his once boyfriend.

In another part of the house a similar discussion was taking place. "A part of me will always love you Finn but … I have to break up with you because I can't be with you when … I'm in love with Kurt … and he's in love with me." Rachel said trying to sound as bright and vibrant about the love rather than sad at the break up she was instigating.

"Well that just tears it … I guess tonight is the night of disappointments … I sat there still in my uniform and he chose Shane over me … I'm not going to Ohio State. Now I come here and find out that you are breaking up with me and for who … of all people my brother … not only that but my GAY brother? How am I supposed to be alright with this? First Quinn does this with my best friend and now You do this to me with my gay brother? What the Fuck is wrong with me?" Finn said disbelieving at the outcome of his day.

"Finn, there is nothing wrong with you … you are a wonderful person … I can't explain what happened between Kurt and I … We never expected this at all … honestly … we didn't … but we can't hide it either … I've never felt this complete in my life … my heart races thinking about him … even now when we are in the same house I am terrified … if I lose Kurt … I lose myself …" Rachel pleaded and assured the Quarterback.

"That's how I feel about you Rachel …"

"Not all the time you don't … otherwise you wouldn't have gone back to Quinn last year … Finn you just need to find who you are … you are a great leader … you lead the team … you lead the Glee Club …"

"No … you lead the Glee Club"

"Finn seriously you lead … I might make a few … ok a lot of suggestions but if you stand behind my suggestions the team follows you … I can see you in a few years being just like Mr Schue … teaching young students to be all that they can be …" Rachel said trying to strengthen his crumbling façade.

"I never thought about that …" Finn admitted.

"Well you already know that Kurt and I have our futures planned out … we ARE going to New York City … we are going to NYADA and we are going to be on Broadway … those are realities that will not be changed … not for anything" said Rachel adamantly. "Finn, you do not have any dreams or goals for after graduation. You had based your future on Ohio State … that needs to change …"

"Well what happens when you don't get accepted to NYADA? What are you going to do then?" Finn challenged.

"No matter what Finn … I am going to New York … I will be on Broadway … Nothing you say or do is going to change that …" Rachel restated.

Kurt and Blaine came into the room. "That goes double for me as well to both you and Blaine … I will also be going to New York City … and if I don't make it on Broadway I will be highlighting at Bryant Park …" Kurt walked over to Rachel's side and slipped his arm around her tiny waist "We will be making a life there … make no mistake about that. Now gentlemen … are we all through tonight? Rachel and I had some plans to work on …"

Blaine and Finn got up and headed towards the front door … tears were falling down Blaine's cheeks and Finn turned and looked at his brother … "What happened to you dude? You used to never be like this …"

"I fell in love … found a part of me that was missing … don't wait up for me Finn we are going to be … talking about our futures … long into the night." Kurt said with as much maturity as he could.

"Do you think that your Dad is going to like you staying out all night Little Brother?" Finn said.

"Why do you never remember that I am almost a full year older than you …" Kurt asked.

"Well … er … you are littler than me" Finn responded.

"That's what you think …" Kurt said as he shut the front door on the pair of former boyfriends.

"Oh my Gawd … Kurt … you didn't just …" Rachel said blushing.

"I had to … he was grating on my nerves tonight." Kurt said letting out a breath he had been holding. "Tonight we are going to speak about our future …"

"I like that … we have a future … together. I don't think I could survive New York without you by my side." Rachel said as she cuddled into his side.

After locking the front door … they walked up the stairs to Rachel's bedroom … "I spoke to Coach Beiste earlier and asked her to remove me from the Presidency race …" Rachel said as she sat down on her bed with her back to the head board.

"Thank you Rachel … I'm sorry I got so angry with you about that … I'm just so afraid of not being able to get into NYADA …" Kurt said as he took his place next to her with is back against the headboard.

"Sweetheart … if you don't get into NYADA then there is always FIT … its right there in New York City as well." Rachel reassured. "You are so talented … very gifted … there is no way that you won't get in to one of your choosen schools."

"I love you Rach … you will get into NYADA … and remember … you don't have to have a college degree to get a part on Broadway." Kurt said as he leaned over and kissed her again.

Back at the Hudson-Hummel home Finn was still angry that Rachel had broken up with him. Pulling out his phone he called the one person who could possibly make a difference.

"Hi … this is Finn … I just thought you should be aware of a new development while you have been out of town … Kurt and Rachel are spending the night together … No … she and I broke up … I don't think it's as innocent as that … I know they have had sleep overs before … they both say they are in love with each other. Well I thought you should know … ah yeah … Have a safe trip home." Finn said as he hung up his phone.

"That should teach the pair that they aren't ready for this type of relationship …" Finn said.

"I can't believe you just did that … you know they will never forgive you" said Blaine shaking his head. "Well I am going to head home … try and get some sleep Finn."

"Yeah I will …" Finn agreed. He knew beyond anything else that the new romantic pair would be very angry with him … and he was going to just have to deal with the outcome when the time came.

"Daddy! You can't let Mama stop there … what happened next?!" Lizzy pleaded.

"Well I think this is a perfect place to stop the story … you won't be putting any of this into writing anyway … but if you look over there your brothers are both asleep so I think we will end this for the night." Kurt said tenderly picking up the larger of the two sleeping boys while Rachel had gathered Colin into her arms.

"He's still so little … takes after his Daddy …" Rachel commented with a grin "He really does looks like you Kurt"

"Well Patric has your eyes and nose …" Kurt said "I think he looks more like you than Lizzy does."

Laying the sleeping pair of boys in their beds the parents leaned down and gave them kisses on the foreheads and then closed the doors.

"Sweetheart … I'm really not sure I want to tell Lizzy about what happened after …" Rachel said shaking a bit as they went to their room.

"Its ancient history honey … They _will_ understand … besides they all love you so much." Kurt said "and I don't think that Lizzy is going to want to take after you as much as you think she does …"

"Let's just hope you are right."

TO BE CONTINUED:

_**Author's Afterword : the info regarding Kurt's age versus Finn's age is from Glee's wiki pages where they list Kurt's age as 20 now even though Finn was 19 when he died … and Rachel's age is based off of her date of birth December 18, 1994 making her at this time in our story only 17 … she wouldn't turn 18 until just before Christmas.**_

_**All of my stories will be continued on even though they won't be posted before the end of November as I obvously didn't get all my words typed before the end of the month … but I have way too many stories started!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_§____**Going The Full Diva **__§_

By Muirnin Cocan

_**Disclaimer: **See chapter 1 for the full disclaimer … Glee belongs to the powers that be - RIB (Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, & Brad Falchuk) oh and Fox …_

_**Author's Note: **Here is the next chapter of this story … I have ended up posting this as a separate story due to the Rating issue …and finally I have abandoned any 12-step program for my addiction to reviews and being a review whore and so … I beg of you …** please feed my addiction … **You all are the best … especially Lady Luna Riddle who is my number 1 fan! _

Going the Full Diva – part 2

**Hummel-Berry Home – Jackson Heights, Queens, NY – October 2028**

With their children in their beds, Kurt and Rachel retired to their bedroom and after completing their nightly skin care moisturizing rituals … over the years had been perfected to match each others … Rachel opened up the locked bedside table and pulled out the box that was in there.

"Rachel … Sweetheart, are you sure you want to go through these tonight? It can wait until the morning …" Kurt asked his bride of 17 years. "Why don't we wait until daylight for both of us to go through all of this …"

"Kurt, I am not ashamed of the fact that we were still in high school when we got married … Hell … if I had stayed with Finn … I honestly think he would have proposed and I would have ended up a widow before I was 20 years old … I'm glad that we found love … I honestly wouldn't change a thing … it's just the fact that I keep thinking that if I hadn't pushed for us to go to New York before Graduation we would have stayed in Lima … I don't know … I don't regret our life … I honestly don't … but what kind of role model does that make me … even for our own kids!"

"Rachel … look at me … I don't regret a single thing either … well except that the twins didn't make it … and that is the saddest part about all of this … I am just so grateful that Lizzy, Patric and Colin all lived …" Kurt wrapped his arms around the sobbing woman who had become the other part of his soul.

He frequently thought what would have happened if the twins that she had been pregnant with had not been still born. It was during that time in his life that he had actually turned to the God he didn't believe in and prayed for the first time in his life to save his beloved wife … She had been on her way to the hospital when her taxicab had been struck in the passenger side and by the time they did the emergency Caesarian to try and rescue the twins … a boy and girl … the hospital found that they had already lost them both due to the tramatic event and then Rachel herself nearly died herself.

Kurt had taken it upon himself to contact Rachel's family as well as his own … to let them know about Rachel's condition as well as what had happened to their babies … The twins who they had planned to name Shelby Rose and Christopher Burtrand … after Rachel's birth mother and both Finn and Kurt's fathers … so that is the names they put on the birth certificates and actually paid to have the birth Certificates made up as well as finding a burial plot near the home they had found to rent in Queens.

Rachel's dads had decided that if their children were going to stay in New York they would do all they could to help them out. Rather than make the kids pay rent, the bought the house that Kurt and Rachel had found and gave it to them as a belated wedding present.

Burt and Carole had also come and assisted Kurt with getting the house ready for when Rachel would be finally released. Burt could see the change in his only son … when the news had first broke about the Congressman Elect's son having married a girl prior to graduating and had left after winning the Show Choir Nationals and disappeared, he had been even more surprised than when Kurt had first told him he was gay.

Both he and Carole had been excited when they were told that Rachel was expecting twins … he thought the only way he would ever have grandkids would either be by adoption or by Finn … but he was thrilled that they would be Kurt's … But the call that he had received about Rachel's accident shocked him to the core and they didn't think twice … they just got in the car and drove straight through … it was less than 600 miles and they could get there in about 9 hours. They had picked up LeRoy and Hiram on the way and headed straight for the Big Apple.

What they found when they got there was that she had sustained numerous injuries in the accident and it took some time for her to recover and so during that time Kurt had consulted her local Rabbi and over the years had converted into the Judaic faith. Kurt had also discussed with LeRoy and Hiram everything he would need to know which gave him a better opportunity to know his Fathers in Law.

Several months later when Rachel found herself pregnant again she had put her career on hold to make sure that nothing went wrong with this pregnancy … Kurt waited on her hand and foot … as she had gone into Full Diva mode again.

Kurt smiled at the memory of when she delivered a healthy baby girl 15 years ago … whom they named Barbra Elizabeth … Rachel had laid eyes on the tiny dark haired beauty with the powerful set of lungs and honestly felt that she had accomplished her finest role to date even though just a few weeks earlier … she had already won a Tony for her role as Fanny Brice.

She had been heavily pregnant for the awards ceremony and felt a sense of pride when on the Red Carpet they asked who she was wearing and she said 'Who else would I wear … Kurt Hummel of course!'. That blatent plug for her husbands fashion designs had exploded his career and a few weeks later he had his greatest showing at Bryant Park.

It would be another 8 years before they had another child and this one was their son Patric LeRoy and then two years later their son Colin Hiram … it was just prior to Lizzy being born that Rachel had also reconnected with her birth mother and began taking the kids to Shelby's day care center Broadway Baby Day Care … and Shelby reveled at the fact that she was a grandmother … and could be a true mom to Rachel.

"Honey, let's get some sleep … you and I both have long days and I will be by your side when you tell Lizzy about all of this … alright?" Kurt asked his wife pulling back the covers of their bed to entice her to come to bed.

With a heavy sigh, Rachel just nodded and relocked the cabinet then tucked the key back on the bracelet that she wore. She smiled slightly as she saw that Kurt had his arms open … waiting to be filled by the wife he loved. Enveloped into the comforting hug that he gave rocking her gently … she finally succumbed to the sleep that she had been fighting for the last few hours.

Kurt just smiled again as he thought about the woman in his arms … and how so many years ago he had thought he was gay … well that may have been the past but he enjoyed his future and the way that his life had turned out.

TO BE CONTINUED:

_**Author's Afterword : the info regarding Kurt's age versus Finn's age is from Glee's wiki pages where they list Kurt's age in 2013 as 20 now even though Finn was 19 when he died in 2013 … and Rachel's age is based off of her date of birth December 18, 1994 making her at this time in our story only 17 … she wouldn't turn 18 until just before Christmas.**_

_**All of my stories will be continued on even though they won't be posted before the end of November as I obvously didn't get all my words typed before the end of the month … but I have way too many stories started!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_§____**Going The Full Diva **__§_

By Muirnin Cocan

_**Disclaimer: **See chapter 1 for the full disclaimer … Glee belongs to the powers that be - RIB (Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, & Brad Falchuk) oh and Fox …_

_**Author's Note: **I just want to say that while I do appreciate the number of people who are following my work the lack of reviews has really tested my desire to continue writing this as well as my other works … it makes me automatically question why I continue writing … is it just a waste of time … granted I do write for my own pleasure but I could do that without sharing it with others … this story does have a couple of reviews … from the same person … so Lady Luna … thank you again so very much … whether I continue with these stories is still up in the air after what has happened with Gone with the Wind? … _

_I've had this chapter written for about a week … but figured I should probably post it today … as I said whether I continue is really up in the air … the holidays for me are depressing enough …_

Going the Full Diva – part 3

**Hummel-Berry Home – Jackson Heights, Queens, NY – October 2028**

"Lizzy … could you come to my room please … I have something I want to discuss …" Rachel asked her beautiful daughter. She had already told Kurt that she would be disclosing many of the 'secrets' today … She was just terribly afraid that her daughter would no longer look at her in the same light that she did before.

"Sure Mama … give me a moment to put my stuff away …" Lizzy hollared back.

Lizzy had gone into her parent's bedroom and found her mother sitting on her bed with a huge box that was opened and many of it's various items spread out on the bed …

"Mama … is this all the stuff I've been searching for?" Lizzy asked as she plopped herself down next to her mother on the bed.

"Well it's most of the stuff … I was about the age of your Aunt Beth when your father and I got together … her birth parents are some of our dearest friends … and you actually know them" lifting up a picture of Quinn and Puck taken when Quinn was very pregnant with Beth.

"What does Auntie Quinn and Uncle Noah have to do with all this … I don't understand … why did you hide all of this from us … from me …" Lizzy asked confused.

"Lizzy, you need to understand that your father and I had become really close friends during our junior year of high school when he had transferred to Dalton … Do you remember when we explained about what it means to be gay?" Rachel asked.

Lizzy looked at her mother and nodded … she wasn't sure what this had to do with anything but she listened intently.

"Your daddy … when he was in high school had come out of the closet … he recognized himself as being gay … but this action in itself brought about more trouble than just being in glee club … I mean we were used to getting slushied on a daily basis and laughed at by the entire school … but for Daddy the harrasment went to a whole new level … he began getting even more harrassed and abused by one guy in particular … this guy was even on the football team and a lot of it had to do because of his own sexual orientation … I found out later that this guy had hate kissed your daddy … besides slamming him into lockers … I tried to get the girls in glee to have their boy friends who were also on the football team to protect Kurt … your Uncle Finn was secretly afraid of what it would do to his reputation … Uncle Noah was one strike away from going away to juvie for good … the only one that actually did anything was Uncle Sam …

"Anyway … the long and the short of it is after Grandpa and Grandma Hummel's wedding … Kurt found out that the guy who had been abusing him and had been suspended was coming back to McKinley … Daddy couldn't take the pressure anymore and his folks decided to let him transfer to Dalton Academy over in Westerville … quite aways from Lima … we weren't close friends before he left … but while he was gone we found out how much we actually did miss each other … so after all the madness and craziness of that was resolved … your dad finally came back to McKinley … much to the dispair of the Dalton Warblers … your daddy and I got closer … Best friends actually …

"When we went to New York City for Nationals our junior year we had actually snuck out and gone to the Gershwyn Theater where they were doing '_WICKED_' and we actually broke into the theater … and experienced our first time singing on a real broadway stage …" Rachel smiled at the memory "it was a duet of For Good … it really brought us closer together and oh did we have plans … big plans for after graduation coming to New York and both of us getting into Julliard and being great broadway stars …"

"So what happened … I mean I know you came to New York … I mean I was born here after all … but I don't understand … you didn't go to Julliard … or did you?"

"Well the reason we didn't go to Julliard was because as we found out from our guidence counselor in our senior year … they didn't have a musical theater program … We did however put our applications in at NYADA … the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts … it has the top musical theater program in the country …"

Rachel said as she took a deep breath … "Sweetie we've already told you how your father and I got together and fell in love … I know a lot of children don't want to hear about their parents and … sex …" she looked at her daughter and saw the glimmer of fear in her glasz eyes "… don't worry I am not going into detail about our sexual relations … you are definitely not old enough … hell I'm not old enough to hear about that … what I am trying to say is that your father and I were both virgins when we got married …"

"You mean you and Uncle Finn never … you know" Lizzy asked.

"No, we almost did a couple of times but I was never ready … it never felt right … but after the whole thing with _West Side Story_ … well your daddy and I did something that was scandalous and very spontaneous for the both of us … we ran off to Chicago and eloped … ironically it was in Chicago that I had also made a few other decisions …"

"Ok, I'm confused … why would it matter when you got married?" asked Lizzy.

"We were still seniors in High School and your grandpa Burt was running for Congressman … I had upset your daddy really badly when I did something really terribly stupid … I had put my name in to run against him for Senior Class President … then to top that off was when I did that huge diva thing with _West Side Story_ … and the fact that I hadn't turned 18 as yet … I sort faked my ID so that it appeared that I was over the age of 18 … made some changes to my birth certificate that sort of thing … Your daddy had NO idea I had done that he just thought that your Granddads were being really great about us being together … then to top everything off … well our side trip to Chicago almost caused your grandpa Burt to lose the seat that he had just won … by a landslide mind you … but thankfully my dads had a talk with your Daddy and they caved and actually signed the actual paperwork that was needed to validate our marriage … but then Principal Figgins figured that I needed to be punished for going ahead and getting married so young … so I was suspended from school for a solid week and not allowed to perform in our sectionals …" Rachel explained.

"So you guys got married while seniors … I'm still not seeing why you were ashamed of this happening …" Lizzy asked … totally enthralled by her mother's past.

"Honey, this is really embarrassing for me to talk about … I broke the law and did something that while I thought was the right decision … I didn't think it was wrong … but I did break the law and that is really bad … Ok … well the New Directions won their Sectionals … even without me they won … anyway we got to advance to the Regionals … and we … that is your daddy and I were still married … we were actually living at my family's home since your Uncle Finn was still really upset at us for how we had gone off and gotten married. Anyway … right around Valentine's Day there was some trouble with Dalton Academy and your Uncle Blaine had been badly hurt … now He had been your daddy's boyfriend before we got together … and the bad part of Blaine getting hurt was the fact that it was supposedly your Daddy who had gotten hurt … I was madder than I have ever been … even got your Auntie Tana to help go all Lima Heights … as she put it … on that fool Sebastian … how he had wanted to hurt Kurt all because he had not stayed together with Blaine …" explained Rachel shook her head at the bad memory then added "Relationships like what ours was in high school were really strange … our entire glee club we were like one huge family … that's why you have so many aunties and uncles with your daddy and I both being theoretically only children."

"I always wondered how that was … but it makes sense … I mean I know that Grandma Carole was Uncle Finn's mother and she married Grandpa Burt …" Lizzy agreed.

"Anyhow … just after Valentine's day I found out I was pregnant … Daddy and I were so happy and so scared at the same time … we were still in High School … we had like three more months until Graduation … and we had Regionals and then Nationals ..." continued Rachel "I didn't want the mess that we had with Quinn and Puck … but we didn't exactly share the news with everyone either … so after we won Regionals your Daddy and I decided that we would just not tell anyone that I was pregnant yet … and gratefully I didn't really show I was only four to four and half months pregnant when we got to Chicago for Nationals … I performed exactly the way that we had rehearsed the final number was a big song and dance routine of _Paradise by the Dashboard Lights_ … the only time that anyone got a clue was when your Uncle Finn had grabbed me by the waist to swing me in one of our dance rehearsals … having the memory of Quinn … he gave me a look and then he waited until we were back stage while the Troubletones were actually on stage performing … he asked your daddy flat out if I was pregnant …"

_**CHICAGO, ILLINOIS – NATIONALS – MAY 2012 **_

Finn grabbed his brother by the shoulder and pulled him to the side away from everyone else "Lil Bro … tell me the truth … is Rachel pregnant?"

Kurt was surprised by the questions and feigned surprise "No … why would you think that?" he lied.

"Dude … you forget … I was dating Quinn for those first few months … you know … when she was pregnant and saying it was my kid … I know what a baby bump feels like and unless your wife is hiding something from you … then you need to have a talk with her …" Finn said watching the changing expression of guilt on Kurts face "and besides that … I know you … and you are a horrible liar … did you really think you could get away with not tell me I was going to be an Uncle?" he added as he grabbed his brother into a hug.

"FINN! For God's sake … put me down … damn it … you can't tell anyone … swear it … you won't tell anyone especially our folks …" Kurt whispered then once back on the ground he said "at least not yet … yes … ok … I lied to you …"

The wide grin on Finn's face was priceless "Oh I get to be an Uncle! … ah Dude … Well you might want to go rescue your wife … she's getting the third degree from the only other person on the team who actually knows what the waist of a pregnant woman feels like …" Finn said as he gestured over to where Puck was trying to talk to Rachel.

"Oh shit …" Kurt said and the pair of brother's made their way over to where Rachel was standing trying to get away from Puck …

"Noah … please … give me some space … I am up next onstage and I need to keep my wits about me … You don't want me to choke like I did for my NYADA audition." Rachel threatened trying to avoid the answer to the question that he was asking of her.

"But …" Puck started but was cut off by the Hudson-Hummel pair of brothers.

"Dude … Seriously … you want to do this now? Don't worry … we will get all the answers … but _after_ the competition … now let's leave Hummelberry alone so they can get her centered for her solo …" Finn said using the term that the team had coined for either Kurt or Rachel … not even bothering with a plural of the term as that would be defeating the purpose for teasing since they were both so much a like in so many ways.

Kurt wrapped his arms around his wife's waist from behind and whispered in her ear … "Alright Diva … I'm here with you now … and for the record … Finn knows he is going to be an Uncle … he's promised to keep it quiet … you on the other hand … Oh God Rachel … You are so beautiful … Red is definitely a great color on you … now remember … you are a star … Go out there and sing like this is going to be the last time you will ever have the opportunity to sing … like this is the most important performance of our lives … You can do this … we both know this … You can do absolutely anything when there is a song in your heart and a stage to sing on … and you my love are a super star … so don't you worry about anyone or anything else … just live in this moment … you sing this song brilliantly … and one last thing I want you to remember … how much I truly love you …" he quietly cheered giving her a light kiss as he didn't want to mess up her make up.

"That was an excellent pep talk … you are getting rather good at those"

"Well I should you know … being married to the ultimate Diva" Kurt said with a quick kiss to her nose.

"… and I love you too … and just so you know … I am thinking of you when I sing this song …" Rachel smiled taking a deep breath as she relaxed into Kurt's arms … their breathing was in perfect rhythm with the other as they listened to the Troubletones finish singing 'Edge of Glory' which was like the anthem for the pair at this moment in time.

As the Troubletones ended their song Kurt gave her another quick kiss and led her to the wings as the lights went down she moved to center stage and listened for the music to queue up. Rachel could hear the other members that were singing back up for her and out of the corner of her eye she could see as Kurt went over to stand in the wings. Along with his brother Finn and with Puck he stood proudly as he watched the love of his life sing a song that he had first heard sung by Meatloaf … but had been recently done by Celine Dion …

There were nights when the wind was so cold

That my body froze in bed if I just listened to it

Right outside the window

There were days when the sun was so cruel

That all the tears turned dust

And I knew my eyes were drying up forever

I finished crying in the instant that you left

And I can't remember where or when or how

And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

But when you touch me like this

And you hold me like that

I just have to admit that

It's all coming back to me

When I touch you like this

And you hold me like that

It's so hard to believe

But it's all coming back to me

(It's all coming back,

It's all coming back to me now)

There were moments of gold

And there were flashes of light,

There were things I'd never do again

But then they'd always seemed right

There were nights of endless pleasure,

It was more than any laws allow,

Baby, baby

If I kiss you like this

And if you whisper like that

It was lost long ago

But it's all coming back to me

If you want me like this

And if you need me like that

It was dead long ago

But it's all coming back to me

It's so hard to resist

And it's all coming back to me,

I can barely recall

But it's all coming back to me now

But it's all coming back!

But you were history with the slamming of the door

And I made myself so strong again somehow

And I never wasted any of my time on you since then

But if I touch you like this

And if you kiss me like that,

It was so long ago,

But it's all coming back to me

If you touch me like this

And if I kiss you like that,

It was gone with the wind,

But it's all coming back to me

(It's all coming back,

It's all coming back to me now)

There were moments of gold

And there were flashes of light,

There were things I'd never do again

But then they'd always seemed right

There were nights of endless pleasure,

It was more than any laws allow,

Baby, baby, baby

When you touch me like this

And when you hold me like that,

it was gone with the wind,

But it's all coming back to me

When you see me like this

And when I see you like that

Then we see what we want to see,

All coming back to me

The flesh and the fantasies,

All coming back to me,

I can barely recall

But it's coming back to me now

If you forgive me all this,

If I forgive you all that,

We forgive and forget,

And it's all coming back to me

Now...

_**(Songwriters - STEINMAN, JIM)**_

The applause was amazing and she smiled and turned to the wings and into Kurt's waiting arms. The team performed their last song _'Paradise by the Dashboard Lights' _which went off flawlessly … at the end Rachel was back into Kurt's waiting arms while the rest of the team all hugged each other and they awaited the results of the competition.

**Hummel-Berry Home – Jackson Heights, Queens, NY – October 2028**

"So … what happened after that Mama …?" Lizzy asked her eyes full of light and joy.

"Well … we won Nationals … it was an amazing feeling … your daddy actually kissed me in front of everyone … right there on stage after we won our trophy … unlike your Uncle Finn who had kissed me the year before during our performance causing us to end up with a 12th place finish …" Rachel said with a grin knowing full well that she was at least half of the blame for that kiss that missed mentally remembering the comments that her husband had used their senior year in Glee Club.

"As we loaded the bus to head back to Lima, your Uncle Finn as well as Puck came back to where we were seated in the back and demanded some answers … needless to say I told them the truth … that I was indeed pregnant … and of course the entire team knew by the time we got out of the city limits … what they didn't know was that we were not planning to go back to the classes after we presented the school with our trophy … we had come to the school for the welcome back and then that afternoon we loaded up Daddy's SUV with what we couldn't live without and a whole lot of money we had saved from the sale of my car and working at the tire shop … and drove straight through to New York City …"

"You left before you graduated? Why?" Asked Lizzy …

Rachel nodded her head at her daughter as she began to explain "Why … that's acually a great question … like everything else we did we had secretly already taken the GED so we did have our High School Equivelency diploma's … unbeknownst to the rest of the team or our families … we just wanted to get on with the rest of our lives in New York City and I knew my dads … as soon as they found out I was pregnant they would have tried to do something … thinking that my being pregnant was wrong or somehow that would keep me from our Broadway dreams …"

"No … that can't be true … I can't believe the grandads would be like that …"

"Oh trust me Lizzy … your grandpa LeRoy is scary and don't get me started with your grandpa Hiram … when either of them think something is going to stall their baby girl's broadway dreams … Oh my God … they actually had to get a promise from your Daddy after we got married … I suspect but I'm not sure if there was blood involved … but I know it was with threat of certain death that we would not give up broadway … so with that in mind … we headed straight for the great white way …

"It's was during the 10 hour trip … we had utilized our cell phones and daddy's laptop and found a loft in Bushwick for 1800.00 a month … which was a huge chunk of money what with the first and last as well as a security deposit … but since we did have the cash on hand we didn't worry too much … figured we would be alright once we got jobs and such. By the time we got to the apartment we found it was quite huge and we signed the lease immediately since they had already taken the money directly from the debit account we had set up earlier. We unloaded the SUV and then Daddy took it to the auto lot not far away and sold his pride and joy … just so we would have more money …" Rachel said.

"So you just relied on public transportation?" Lizzy asked.

"At the beginning … but your Grandad Berrys … bless their Jewish Gay hearts felt that their baby girl needed more security even though my husband was working at and had gotten accepted at Fashion Institute of Technology … and surprisingly I got accepted and was going to school full time at NYADA … well your Grandads found this house that we are in now … they bought it and gave it to us as a belated wedding present as well as a baby shower present … they decided that since they had the resources that we should not have to pay rent …

"Wait when did you get accepted to NYADA?" Lizzy asked

"Well both your daddy and I had auditioned to NYADA for the one and only Madame Carmen Tibideaux … Your daddy did and brilliantly might I say … the song _'Not the Boy Next Door'_ … I unfortunately was doing my go to number _'Don't Rain on My Parade'_ and I choked … even did it a second time and messed up the lyrics horribly …" Rachel said.

"Mama! You never mess up lyrics …" Lizzy said

"Well this one time I was over confident in my performance and I completely screwed up … I had gotten through the first 32 bars and messed up the words … well what we didn't know was that Madam Tibideaux was actually in Chicago and saw my performance during my solo and as well as the final group number and made her decision on that … Your grandfather's had forwarded our letters to us at our new apartment in Bushwick and that's when we found out that Daddy didn't get accepted to NYADA but did get accepted to the Fashion Institute of Technology and I got accepted to NYADA … Anyway … however … all of that almost ended up in a tragedy …"

"What happened mama …" Lizzy asked seeing her mother starting to tear up … and was immediately handed two sheets of paper … There she saw Certificate of Fetal Death on both sheets of paper under the names Shelby Rose Hummel and Christopher Burtrand Hummel … which Lizzy knew was unusual as usually Fetal Death was just baby boy or baby girl and the last name.

"I know I should have told you long ago about the sister and brother who didn't make it … I was actually on my way to the hospital because my water had broken when the taxi I was riding in was hit on the back passenger door … just where I was seated. I was actually talking to Daddy on the phone when I had the accident so he heard everything. He told me later he had completely freaked out and started calling all our family to tell them that I had been in an accident but didn't know what was happening or where I was … He then called the police and told them what he knew and they confirmed that I had been taken to the emergency room at Long Island Jewish Medical Center … it was bit far from our home but it had been the closest to our accident."

It was that moment that Kurt after hearing what his girls were discussing … entered the room and proceeded to tell the rest of the story … all the while … holding his wife and baby girl in his arms.

**LONG ISLAND JEWISH MEDICAL CENTER – Brooklyn – October 21, 2012**

By the time that Kurt had arrived at the hospital he had found out how serious that Rachel's accident had been. One of the nurses had seen how distraught the young man was and asked the resident Rabbi to go to him. It had been a strange occurance since Kurt had long ago forsaken his belief in God …

"Before my mother died when I was 8 years old, I believed in God … but things changed and I questioned why a God would create someone that didn't fit in the mold of the normal man and refused to believe … A lot of my friends believe in God … my wife is Jewish … I respect her beliefs and even have celebrated Christmas with my family … I sort of want to believe but I stopped believing so long ago … I couldn't even find any faith when my father was in a coma after his heart attack … but now my wife and our baby … I don't know what to do" Kurt sobbed.

"The fact that you recognize that at one time you did believe" the Rabbi started … then proceeded to talk to Kurt about the personal experience he could gain with saying a prayer to whomever he felt may be listening whether it was just himself … the Rabbi … the air around them … and then he gave a grin … or even the dust bunnies that he knew were growing under the corners of the waiting room.

Kurt had been so startled by that he giggled and then tried to talk to what ever powers that be would listen … "Please … for so long I had believed I was something that I actually wasn't … and the one person who had changed me for good is in that operating room fighting for not only her life but the life of our child … Please save her … save them if possible … I can't truly be happy without them in my life …"

Kurt's head bent down low as he continued to cry … he felt the comfort of the Rabbi's hand gently rubbing his back trying to get the young man to calm down. After quite a while the doctor came into the waiting room.

"Mr Hummel?" a young doctor asked.

"Yes, that's me …" Kurt looked up expectantly.

"Your wife had a difficult time she was able to deliver the babies vaginally however … however we … when we delivered the twins … we found that they were still born … I am so sorry."

"We had twins? We had twins? How … why … what … I don't understand … they didn't make it? But … Rachel's fine though right?"

"The accident caused a rather severe impact to your wife's midsection … and we had hoped that the babies were safe because of the amneotic sac however it caused a tear with in the … well needless to say the impact was severe enough it was cutting off the blood flow to the babies … and a trauma of that magnitude was simply too much for the small infants … Your wife was very lucky that she was able to successfully deliver your children however she did need to undergo a small bit of additional surgery after the delivery so we had to anethstize her … You say you and your wife had no idea that she was carrying twins?"

"No … we specifically asked not to be told the sex of the baby because we wanted to be surprised … so we didn't know … I know they are gone but may I see them … please? I have their names … um … the names for the death certificates?" Kurt asked shaking … the Rabbi wrapping his arm around the shaken young man.

"It's not necessary for you to see them …" the doctor said but seeing the sadness on the young man's face he said "but obviously you would like to see your daughter and son … and of course you can name them … just so you know … your daughter arrived first and then your son arrived 22 minutes later … they both were very blue when they were delivered … and that is what had caused them not to make it … if you want to have birth certificates then there is a certification charge for that … we can combine them with the death certificates as well."

"Don't worry about the money … we have it covered … When can I see them and see my wife …" the young doctor gestured with his hand and Kurt followed him with the Rabbi right behind. Upon seeing his children just before they were taken to the morgue Kurt tore his shirt and weeped for the children that didn't make it in this world … he knew that Rachel would be devistated. While the Rabbi began to recite the Kaddish …

The young doctor had then lead Kurt to the room that Rachel was in … she was slowly coming out of the anethstesia … He could see the bruising on her face … as her vision cleared she noticed the small tear on his normally impeccibly pressed shirt. "Kurt … I am so sorry you couldn't be in there … they wouldn't tell me … what did we have?"

He leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips and looked at her sad eyes "It was twins … we had a girl and a boy … they both didn't make it" Kurt said sadly as he saw the traumatic tears that Rachel normally didn't have a need to shed begin to flow. "I called our parents and they are on their way … they don't know yet …"

They held each other for several minutes crying the mournful sobs of grief for the children they had lost … They had been so excited … Kurt and Rachel had spent several months batting names around even though they had distinctly kept from finding out the sex of the baby because they thought that if it was a surprise … That was more romantic …

After a couple of hours the silence of the hospital room was suddenly disturbed and they heard the sound of voices from the hallway that sounded distinctly like Quinn's voice "We are her sisters … let us in to see Rachel …" the door suddenly opened to the two women who came in Quinn and Santana … who had both been in New York for some shopping.

"Let me guess Finn called you?" Kurt asked the two women who came close to the bedside of his wife who was crying all over again at the show of love by the two biggest tormentors of her high school experience.

"Yes he did … he's riding in with your parents …" Quinn said "So what happened?"

"I had gone into labor and was taking a cab to the hospital since Kurt had the car and was too far away … The cab got in an accident and it hit my side of the car …" Rachel started to explain but then started crying again …

"She had a baby girl and boy but they didn't make it …" Kurt responded as Santana was rocking the crying Rachel "When Dads get here we are going to make the arrangements for the burial … there's a cemetary not far from our house."

A little bit later Rachel asked in a quiet voice. "Honey … did you see Shelby and Christopher?"

"Yes sweetheart … they would have beautiful … talented … I could just tell …" Kurt said as his eyes started to fill with tears as well.

"What can we do to help you Kurt …" Santana asked as she gave the grieving countertenor a much needed hug.

"We still need to break the news to our folks and … need to get a bag together with some clothes for Rachel when they let her out of here … Need to contact NYADA … … FIT … oh shit …" he said as he sat down and ran his hand through his hair "Not sure if they need the babys clothes we bought so they can be used for the burial"

"I'll take care of all of that …" Quinn said "We are family … we have been for years … you both need to take care of yourselves … let me have your phones and I can use them to call who needs to contacted … I'll be back" she said as she gave him a kiss on the forehead. Quinn went over and did the same gesture to Rachel repeated on each by Santana and then they were alone.

"You want to still name them Shelby and Christopher … we don't have to …" Kurt asked.

"I had already been calling them Shelby and Christopher … at my last appointment with Doctor Goldstein she told me why I felt like I had the rockettes inside me … we knew you didn't want to know but she told me that it was twins … I didn't realize it was one of each … I just figured we could come up with a 2nd gender specific name for the other twin … I had just been doing both names we had … I'm sorry Kurt I should have told you …" Rachel began to sob.

"Honey it's alright … I'd told you I wanted it as a surprise because it was romantic … it's not your fault. Next time we'll just let them tell us … both … up front"

"Next time? You …"

"What … honey did you think this was our only chance to have children? You are my wife Rachel … we will have more children … whether they come from your body or we adopt … it will take some time I know … but trust me there are more Hummelberry's to come …" Kurt said giving her that one specific smile that he reserved just for her … "Besides why would we want to stop this fabulousness that we have become … Now my lovely Diva … you get your rest … I'm going to go make sure Quinn and Santana don't redecorate the house in some Fabpez hideousness … I love you so much … I'll be back in a couple of hours ... will you be alright while I'm gone?"

Just as he was leaving the room the door opened and Shelby came in "Quinn called me …" she said as she gave Kurt a hug and then came over to sit at the side of the bed … "Oh my baby girl are you alright?"

"Well your mom is here so I am going to go ahead and head back to the house …" He quickly gave her a quick kiss and headed out the door this time. When Kurt got back to their house they found a dozen floral arrangements and what looked like a gathering that he had not expected. Isabelle Wright, his boss had a team of internists going about setting up a buffet.

"Kurt honey … how's Rachel?" Isabelle said giving the young man a hug.

"She'll be fine … we are both sort of in shock that our babies didn't make it …"

"Yes, your girls here told us … We heard back from your brother … he and your folks will be here later tonight … they are driving straight thru … we told them about the twins not making it … I hope you don't mind." Isabelle said with a kindness that Kurt knew she always had … she truly was his fairy god mother … "I believe that Santana has contacted NYADA as well as FIT … they both understood the circumstances of your missing classes. Your friend from Yale … the pretty blonde … she's checking with the morturarys as well as the near by cemetaries … Oh and this is for you …" Isabelle said handing Kurt a large mug of coffee … just the way he liked it …

"Bless you fairy god mother … bless you. I don't want to take too long away from the hospital … I need to get back to Rachel." Kurt said then began sipping the delectable nector in the mug he had received. "Rachel's going to take a bit of time to get back to her vivacious self … but she will get there … there's a good chance she will come home tomorrow."

"Here's your messages Mr Hummel …" One of the newest interns from handed Kurt a stack of messages "I'm sorry for your loss … let us know if there is anything we can do for you" surprising Kurt with the formality of her address and then she had quickly left.

"Ok, that was strange …" Kurt said quietly looking at the messages. He just shook his head in shock at the messages he saw …

From Mercedes, LA: My dear friends … my heart grieves for your loss … just remember that I love you both and will see you soon ... you both are in my prayers …

From Puck, LA: Rach … get better soon … Kurt, dude … take good care of my favorite jew girl …

From Cassie July, NYADA: Schwimmer … take your time getting well … so you can come back here and dance your little Ohio butt off … Sorry about your loss …

From Martin Benningsworth, FIT: Kurt, don't worry about the testing coming up your talent in the fashion industry is already proven and you will have no problems with that … take care of your wife and remember "When the heart grieves over what is has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left." You still have her … you are truly blessed.

From Sue Sylvester, WMHS: Porcelain … I am so sorry about your loss … we here at McKinley grieve with you and hope that you and Mrs Porcelain recover and know that we are here for you if ever you need to come home to visit. My daughter Robin is sad that she won't have her New York City playmates …

On and on the messages went … How did they all find out so fast … then he realized that Quinn and Santana had his and Rachel's cell phones and probably sent out a mass text message to every contact they had.

"Kurt … I have a bag ready for Rachel … its just some very loose comfortable clothes … she won't want to wear anything too constricting for a few days … I had to stop Santana from putting in any tight mini dresses … I think there is some of your sweats and t-shirts in there … so no bullying her on her wardrobe choices" Quinn said teasingly.

"She's actually learned how not to dress like a grandmother and a toddler at the same time … it also helps that I have been known to lay out her wardrobe for the day since I get up first in the mornings" Kurt said with a smile. "You and Santana are more than welcome to stay here rather than get a hotel room … it will save you money."

"Thanks Kurt we appreciate it … we will just take one of the guest rooms you have … we thought we would ask if you wish to have the nursery dismantled and put away before Rachel gets home." Quinn asked knowing that would be what she would want.

"That's actually a great idea … I don't have the heart to go into that room right now … at least we didn't have furniture for twins … although we did have a crib as well as a bassinet … Oh well … um … just box it all up and then you can tuck it up in the attic … Do you have our phones? I want to get back to Rachel …" Kurt asked.

"Yes here you go" handing him the two different android phones one gold and black leopard skin and the white one with the large pink flower on the back that was Rachel's "We already downloaded all the messages onto your laptop using the passwords we found in the notepad on the desk … so the other messages are there for you to read …"

"Thanks a lot Quinn … I'm feeling really guilty not having been as supportive after Beth was born … have you gotten to see her yet?" Kurt asked as he began gathering his things to take back to the hospital.

"Yes I did … we went by Shelby's Broadway Day Care business and told her about Rachel and the twins … it was unbelievable … she had a babysitter within seconds and was heading to the hospital to see Rachel … I guess she really does love Rachel like a mother does … Anyway … I'll spend time with Beth before I go back to New Haven. I just can't believe how big she's gotten."

"Both Rachel and I think she looks like a mini-Quinn although Rachel swears that she has Noah's nose … which I'm scared to think what she will look like when she grows up … it's cute though she calls Rachel … Sissy … since she hasn't been able to say Rachel just yet … she says Kurt just fine … guess she just wants Rachel to remember that she now has a little sister …"

"Well I am sure that she will be Auntie Beth in a few years … just so long as I can also be Auntie Quinn …" Quinn said

"Don't forget Auntie Tana …" Santana added in as she came over and wrapped her arms from behind to give another hug to Kurt before he left.

"No worries Satan …" Kurt said with a grin "For only children Rachel and I have more siblings than the average person … Well I am out of here … make yourselves at home … and thank you both … when our folks show up please let them know that the other two guest rooms are for their use … no reason for them to get hotel rooms … although I think Finn may be more comfortable on the sofa bed rather than sharing with you both … but then again … who knows you could always share my little brother." Kurt joked and gave them quick hugs and then was back out the door again.

Both Quinn and Santana knew the true difference of the Hudmel brothers ages … and agreed that Kurt being the older brother but being shorter was hysterical …

After the major financial distractions such as their home was taken care of Kurt had invested in a used 1998 Chevy Blazer … it was smaller than the large SUV that he had in high school but it gave them a vehicle to get about the city with. He was planning on getting Rachel a car at Christmas … he would see how if she wanted that now … in the mean time having the Blazer gave him an easier way to get back to Rachel's side being able to drive there.

Entering into Rachel's room she saw and heard Shelby holding a sobbing Rachel rocking her slowly. "It's alright baby … Mama's got you …" she repeated softly … Shelby looked up and saw Kurt …

"Hi Shelby … I'm glad you could be here for her when she needed you most … you are the one person we know other than Quinn who has gone through well similar things." Kurt said quietly as he took over the comforting that his wife needed.

"I'm just glad I could be here for her … she's always wanted a mom and I couldn't be one for her growing up … I'm just trying to be a Mama for her now … if she wants me to be …" Shelby said … "She told me what you named the twins … I am honored … with the choice of middle name it's like she had acknowledged me as her mom …"

"That's why she chose Rose … because Rosie was Fanny Bryce's mother … and you are her mother … we figured it was a great combination …" Kurt said.

"How did you chose your son's name?" Shelby asked.

"Well Christopher is or was the name of Finn's dad and of course Burt is mine … we felt Burtrand had a more elegant flow to it … it was either that or Francis which is Dad's middle name and that didn't seem to flow right" Kurt explained. "Too many freakin' F sounds …"

"Very fitting … Is there anything that I can do for either of you? I'm here for either of you anytime you need me …" Shelby said.

"Not right now our family's are heading over to our house and Quinn and Santana are there with a ton of people from … Isabelle has a buffet set up in our dining room I'm not sure who all will be there to eat it but if you and Beth want to go over for awhile spend some time with Quinn be our guest … the Doctor told me that I can bring Rachel home in the morning …" Kurt said grateful that his beloved wife wouldn't have to endure the long stay in the hospital.

"Oh that is so good she's coming home tomorrow … I'll stop by after I pick up Beth and see if there is anything I can help with …" Shelby said "I'm going to take off now … Rachel sweetie … I'm leaving you in the best hands possible … just remember it gets better … I love you" she told her daughter as she kissed her on the forehead then repeated the action to Kurt who blushed. "I'll see you both soon."

Kurt watched as Shelby left the room and then he pulled Rachel into his arms and held her "How are you feeling honey?" He asked his wife.

"The physical pain is expected … it's the emotional loss that hurts the most … I knew as soon as that truck hit the side of the cab that the babies were gone … I just knew … I've got a lot of bruising where the door hit me … I guess I am lucky that I didn't break anything."

"I'm just lucky that I still have you … I was so scared I was going to lose you … I actually prayed today Rachel … when I was waiting for word about you I was sort of freaking out and the nurse on duty sent Rabbi Lewison to me … he got me talking about my lack of faith and then he said that sometimes a prayer could just vocally getting the words out and I laughed when he said that I could even pray to the dust bunnies in the corners … anyway … Rabbi Lewison was with me when we went to see Shelby and Christopher and … he chanted the Kaddish …" Kurt confessed to his wife.

"Did praying help in any way?" Rachel asked.

"It actually did … it seems so strange that something so traumatic could trigger this lifelong disbelief into dust … but I honestly think that God saved your life … I'm glad I didn't have to choose between you or the babies … To be honest with you … as bad as it sounds I can live without the babies … but I wouldn't be able to live without you Rachel …" Kurt said honestly.

"Oh honey … I wouldn't be able to live without you either … I am trying very hard not to fall in to a deep depression over the loss of our children … no mother should ever have to go through that … but I have and I only had the time that they were inside of me to get to know them … and I miss them … I think I will miss them everyday for the rest of my life …" Rachel said as she curled into Kurt's warm embrace.

"We'll get through this … but I did make a decision today … I'm going to talk with your Rabbi … get to understand your faith more than I already do … if its important to you sweetheart … its important for me … and you told me several months ago that you wanted our children raised in Judaism … well perhaps I can learn as well" Kurt said earning a kiss from his wife who shed a few more tears upon the news.

TO BE CONTINUED:

_**Author's Afterword : **I'm still after so many years missing my children and I know many people say that life goes on … but when you have the love of your life as well as your children separated from you … it causes a grief that is difficult to get through but I am getting up every morning … going to work every day when my body allows me the ability … and I think about those I love each and every day … The names for the twins was chosen for the reason's I gave in the chapter … it is just coinsidence that my daughter was Rose and my son was Christopher … they are 22 months apart rather than 22 minutes but that is the only poetic license I gave regarding the 22 … their birthdate … marked the 106th anniversary of my Grandmother's birth …_

_I'm going to continue writing this as I have an idea how it is going to end … maybe in a chapter or two … my other stories I will continue writing them but whether I actually post I'm not sure anymore … this time of the year is depressing enough … anyway … Happy holidays_


End file.
